Monty Harper Songbook

This song was written for the January 2011 Born to Do Science program.

Psychology Song Lyrics

Psychology, can you tell me what’s wrong with me?

I see eyes looking at me and I get distressed
I feel uptight and anxious, mad and depressed
I hear voices behind me that whisper and mock
No one smiles when I smile; no one listens when I talk
I don’t sleep well at all cause I think of my job
And I dream I’m attacked by an unruly mob
Is there some kind of name for the trouble I’ve got?
Can science explain? Am I crazy or what?
Psychology, can you tell me what’s wrong with me?
Psychology, can you tell me what’s wrong with me?

I’ve been looking in books for some self-diagnosis
I’ve read about phobias, fears, and neurosis
Obsession, repression, fixation, and trauma
Was it nature or nurture that caused all this drama?
I set out to measure the person I am
And I filled out a long psychometric exam
I wanna understand but I’m losing my nerve
I’m afraid I won’t land on the bell of the curve

Oh, yes the human mind is acutely arcane
Couched in the convoluted human brain
It comes without a manual or a guarantee
So we study that puzzle with Psychology
Psychology, can you tell me what’s wrong with me?
Psychology, can you tell me what’s wrong with me?

Gotta go now - my day is about to begin
My seventh grade students are jostling in
I see eyes looking at me and I get distressed
I feel uptight and anxious, mad and depressed
I hear voices behind me that whisper and mock
No one smiles when I smile; no one listens when I talk
I’ll be teaching all day with this chalk in my hand
And tonight two more lessons will need to be planned
But with every spare moment I happen to find
I will ponder the question that’s still on my mind
Psychology, can you tell me what’s wrong with me?